Feelings

I cried in the conference room when we had to sign the paperwork. I tried not too. I fought against it, and then I gave up and let myself cry. The man sitting across from me was a stranger. He tore my heart out and tossed it out with the trash because it no longer served his purpose. It’s nothing more horrifying a thought then to realize that you were nothing more than a thing. I don’t mourn the man I’m losing now, I mourn the man I lost two years ago when he gave up on his life and couldn’t seem to pull himself out of his slump.

The paperwork is signed though and should of been filed today or tomorrow. We have a 6 to 8 week wait and then we’ll have a court date. It shouldn’t last any longer than 15 minutes.

The house was put up on on the market on the 1st of December. We have our first showing of it tomorrow. Things are moving along now. I cannot wait to dust my hands of this whole situation and get on with my life. I pretty much spend all of my time with the new beau which is perfectly fine with me. We chill and do what we need to do to keep ourselves entertained. I’m grateful for it actually. I really have no desire to go to a huge empty house by myself to sit and wallow in my depression. I’d rather soak up my new memories and experiences and enjoy myself.

I’ve been nasty sick for the last week too. I’m feeling a bit better now. Going to try to go to the gym tomorrow. I think I can make myself go, or I’m going to try and get myself to go. I’m still have lugee’s I’m coughing up, but not horrible amounts anymore. Last week was miserable. I ended up out of work for two days. I could of easily taken today off. I laid my head on my desk at lunch time and fell asleep for 20 minutes. That’s how tired and exhausted I have been from being sick. I’m definitely climbing into bed soon. Probably after I finish this up.

Not much more is happening. Just biding my time, making plans, scheming dreams into reality. I’m happy for the most part unless I think of my previous situation (then I’m kind of mopey), but beyond that I’m in pretty good shape and keeping my head above water.

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