Its the Thought that Counts

I’ve not been very good with that resolution to post 2-3 times a week. I’ve been pretty good with most of the other resolutions, so maybe with February coming up, I can get back on track with this one.

I’ve been busy. If things go as planned by the end of this week, we’ll be moving into a bigger home shortly. The house I own with my ex will be back on the market after today (I’m slightly frustrated with the plumber and if he bails on me again this evening, I’m firing him and calling my handyman). I spent most of last Saturday over there and packed pretty much everything else up. It was easier to pack things this time than back in October when I initially emptied things out for the storage unit. I didn’t feel a pang of regret or sadness or any sense of loss. I realized this when I was bagging some more clothes to donate and I’d emptied out the main master bedroom closet.

I felt all of those feelings when I traded in the car for the new car. I’m taking it as a sign of healing. It helps I haven’t physically spoken or seen him in person in nearly two months. I think it’ll make February 9th easier to handle as a result. I’m hoping that any pain I feel between us will be only a dull throb that won’t set me off crying. I took the day off just in case though because I really don’t want to go to court, then go to work and sob at my desk the rest of the day.

I think that maybe this is why I haven’t been blogging as much. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and I wasn’t completely sure how to express it. Not writing it though is like not acknowledging it. I’m hoping though as things start to finalize and become more complete, I’ll feel more like myself.

I just have to remind myself “small steps.”

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