These last two weeks have been brutal, chaotic, overwhelming, and downright stressful. Where do I begin?
1. I'm still married. My court date was last Tuesday. I'm represented by counsel. My lawyer failed to show up. She messed the time up, thought the hearing was at 0900 when it was actually at 0830. Because I am represented by counsel, we couldn't proceed with the hearing. I got a really long apology from her. Probably a good thing that she called me in the afternoon because I was pretty livid during the morning. It's now been rescheduled for about a month and a half out. The ex was surprisingly not mad, but that doesn't mean he was the most friendly either. I hate to say it, but it hurt to see him sitting on the bench outside the courtroom. Especially since it looked like he was going to cry. Then I have to remind myself that he brought this upon himself. He had the affair, lied to my face, and manipulated me during the whole time while I cried in the kitchen of a lonely heart. I do not know what is going on his life. And I actually don't care to know.
2. Finally, moving. We got most things moved and relocated to other places. I still have to empty the rest of my storage unit, but I have until the end of the month to get that taken care of for the most part. Also, I love that I bought the Rav4. I HAVE SO MUCH MOVING SPACE. If I was still stuck with my little Subaru sedan, I would probably have to do double the trips to empty the unit out.
3. We got our first offer on the house, and it was an utter insult. They offered to buy the place $45,000 below our asking price, which is also well below our own buying price. We countered and we went back and forth. Then they rejected our last offer when they realized they couldn't nickel and dime us on anything. The homes in the area are worth well over $200k and our asking price is just below that. We've done a number of improvements to the place, including new carpet, new woodstove, new paint, new appliances, etc. A bit of advice for new future homebuyers, don't make an insulting offer without doing research first. You'll get off on the wrong foot with the seller.
4. I got a job offer. I'm not quite sure when it'll start or anything, but I'm kind of excited. It'll give me back the title of Environmental Engineer and it's a significant pay increase. I'll also be able to pick up my civil service career from where I left off. I'll explain more on this later.
For the most part, I'm pretty tired. We've been doing a lot of unpacking and I'm slowly getting things put away or tucked in their spots. The Beau and I spent a good deal adamantly discussing home décor items. It was a bit interesting, a little frustrating, but at the same time a relief that we don't always necessarily agree on the same things. We're sharing the home with another couple, and one thing that I have realized is that I really do like my alone time. I think I was trying to explain to the Beau that I might be living with other people in the same house, but that doesn't mean I'm a chauffer or their best friend or family to them. It might end up that way eventually, but I'm fiercely independent and I've come to realize, I'm not very good at sharing things. I will help a friend in need and I will be friendly, but it's not in my nature if I barely know them. I actually worry that typing this makes me seem selfish? But I think I just have a choice of where my loyalties lie (with the current Beau, my personal family, those friends that go out of their way for me, our two fur babies).
I also like having segregation because I've been screwed over in the roommate department, especially when it comes to food and money. I guess I'm cautious because I've been used and taken for granted before. Part of me worries that this is going to happen to him because a lot of his friends are younger, extremely naïve, and still trying to figure the world out. Its good to help friends, build up that karma, but you still have to make sure you're taking care of yourself too and there is always a limit to how much you have available to share. I always keep this in the back of my head.
I think with my age, I've become a lot more jaded with the world.
Category: Pieces of Me
Tags: divorce, life, relationships, shine the light, strangers