I Despise Lemonade

For the last three days I’ve been dealing with some serious migraine issues. Pretty sure though, as of today at least, that it’s allergy related. The headache itself is now under control, but I still have this dull throbbing, now finally centralized over the left side of my face. I also learned the other week that my rogue tooth will be meeting the end of its life before it develops potential severe symptoms for me. A few years ago, I had a strange anomaly show up on my x-rays showing a dark center to my tooth. On the outside of the tooth, it’s looked just fine, no problems (I still haven’t even had symptoms). Dentist sprayed direct cold air on it to get me to react (I felt absolutely nothing). So, we’ve been keeping an eye on it. At my last cleaning, the hygienist noticed that it’s started to look pink on the outside. The x-ray this year (when compared to last year’s), show there’s quite a bit more degradation to the inside of the tooth.

What I learned? That my tooth was traumatized at some point in its young life and my body decided it was a weakling and started to reabsorb it into my body from the inside out. I also learned, from research, that this doesn’t happen a whole lot. It’s also really, really expensive. I have to have the tooth yanked (I’ve never had a tooth yanked, my wisdom’s don’t count since I was knocked out for that and they had to be surgically removed by crushing) and a bridge will have to built. It’s about a 2-3 month process.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? I hate lemonade.

Despite a few set backs, I’m still looking confidently into the future. I should be closing on my property in the next two weeks. Pending something insane, like me having to track down an ex-husband despite what’s explicitly stated in my divorce decree that he waved all rights to that property. I found a 6 week bootcamp style class that I’m entertaining because I really miss feeling strong (and I like that I want to do this for myself not be coerced into doing it for someone else) or I may do a zumba class during fall semester, I haven’t decided yet. I picked up a goal oriented planner book that I’m hoping will allow me to focus on personal goals and dreams that I’ve been wanting to accomplish.

I’m not going to lie, despite events that changed my life forever two years ago, I’m still struggling with issues. I think after the call I got from escrow on the house that I’m selling, I’ve been struggling to break myself from the negative thought process these last few days. It amazes me how much one individual can redefine you before you realize you’re being changed and you’ve become out of touch with yourself. It also amazes me how little things like that can trigger my depression, making me feel panicked, anxious, and an emotional mess in the matter of minutes. Time does seem to heal all wounds, but dammit, they never said how much time it would take.

It helps to know that I’m in a healthy relationship now and can recognize it has healthy. And I feel so ready to take the next leap with him.

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2 thoughts on “I Despise Lemonade”

  • I’m sorry to hear about your tooth. It sounds… expensive. A lot of those old sayings are so cliché. Like that with lemons.
    I hope you feel better soon about everything.

    Reply
    • Extremely cliche… and the tooth is going to hurt a bit figuratively and literally. But I can say I’m in a good place and can handle it, so that’s always a plus 🙂

      Reply

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