March felt like an up and down month for me with good days and bad days that felt dependent on the day of the week (and even, maybe, how the weather was outside). Spring teased us for most of the month, with the snow finally starting to melt and go away by the end of it. So let’s review March, what went good?
1. The sweetheart and I made some changes around the house and advanced some of the slower to come to us relationship things that we hadn’t really figured out. Like combining the rest of our finances and making a wedding game plan. We also decided to have separate offices, so I spent most of the second half of March customizing my own office space. I think what felt good was being able to see eye to eye on things and being agreeable. Relationship finances stress me out to no end. It doesn’t help that I consider finances a traumatic experience from my previous relationship because we did not have the same goals in mind and we disagreed about saving and how to pay for things on multiple levels. I’m thrifty by nature and prefer to forgo extras if I’m already living comfortably. So, having a partner who recognizes the importance of budgeting and saving money really helps alleviate some of my own stress. The Fiancé has been pretty agreeable with the way I approached our expenses, and I think he’s gone along with how I wanted to handle it because of my biggest fear: resentment. We pooled everything together in my last relationship and I think that put a strain on us because I made over 80% of the income between the two of us. I began resenting my partner because he would spend all of our money on things for himself and then I would be made to feel guilty if I bought myself something small and inexpensive. So now we have a joint pool where we are splitting all of the expenses between the two of us and then whatever is left from our incomes for that month is ours to do with as we wish (paying off private bills, saving up to get that fancy sewing machine, etc). This way there is no guilt, no chastising, no complaint about how much the other is spending on extras (say coffee every day or lunch out with coworkers).
2. I felt like I did pretty good with accomplishing some of my goals I set for myself, some in addition to the ones I listed here on March’s entry. Having small goals set really helps me to focus and work towards something with a result at the end. Some weeks, or even days, feel better if I can check it off my list. I was reading about a different form of goal documenting, which I thought was intriguing. It was similar to how I write this up, only you do it in fewer sentences and its after completing a task. You summarize the task, highlight what was good about it, what wasn’t good about it, and if you would change how you approach it if you had to do it again. It was an intriguing idea, granted I think it may be time intensive to do. I do enjoy reading about forming habits and how to accomplish small and large goals though, so I loved the idea and may keep it in mind of future habit making criteria for myself.S
So, what did I have trouble with in March?
1. I continue to have problems sleeping and I’m concerned that I’ve not been eating enough. I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea about two years ago and while I do have a cpap machine, I hate sleeping with it. I also don’t feel its of much use to me because when I have allergies, I’m congested anyways (I use a nasal pillow). The other thing that makes this all feel defeating is that the sleep clinic we have here sucks. Like majorly. The doctor there only comes every once in a while, so you’re lucky if you get to see him. And the one time I did see him, he suggested to me that I may need to have surgery to widen my nasal cavities. Which I fail to see how that’s useful if the reason I’m congested is due to seasonal allergies. I’ve been debating on moving everything over to my regular doctor to see if she can find a better solution for me. The other side of this is that I’m not sure I’ve been eating enough, while following the weight watcher’s smart point system. I’m experimenting for the month of April by double tracking with myfitnesspal and will probably write more about that later. It feels hard to almost balance things out with being vegetarian and making sure I’m getting enough nutrients. I also have a habit of making things overly complicated for myself and that’s never useful!
2. I fell off my developing good habits bit when I took the Fiancé’s spring break off. I didn’t stick to a healthy schedule and I found myself slipping back into noncommittal bad habits, forgoing the gym and cooking in favor of lazy antics. This really killed my self motivation and I felt lethargic during the later half of the month. I feel like I slipped into a state of reclusiveness and it took a bit to make me engage with people outside of the house. I value my introverted self, but it doesn’t help when I’m feeling grayness pushing in around me. Sweetheart noticed and kept asking me if I was okay. I wasn’t necessarily the most open or honest to him with how I was feeling because I don’t know how to describe those feelings. I think some of this is because I haven’t been writing privately a few times a week to myself. Usually, I can get a handle on my moods and understand how I’m feeling if I can just brain dump word vomit across a page. I’m going to try to do more of that this month.
So, to round out a few of April’s goals, I plan too:
- Participate in a CAL for April (I’m making a cowl and going to try Tunisian crochet for a jacket)
- Start a new book series
- Exercise of some sort 3 days a week
- Garden planning! One of my favorite times a year!
- Make a pretty mixed artwork piece, either physical or digital (I have several things started, but haven’t finished anything.)
How did your March go? Do you have a goal or something important to you to accomplish in April?