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September Goals, Summer Review

What went well this summer?

1. I got to go on a trip, even though I’m not sure if you can classify something as vacation when it’s tied to work, but at least I got to do some traveling and the sweetheart got to go with me on that trip. We stayed a bit longer than I needed to for work and got to explore a bit of Texas. I’ve been down to San Antonio many times, but have never had an opportunity to explore before.

2. We got some of the yard work we’ve been meaning to get done finished up and may actually have a fence installed before winter starts. This will be a blessing when the snow finally does hit. The dogs probably benefit the most from it. We have a problem with people using our yard as a thorough way when it’s not. They pass right by the house, setting our youngest one off because he’s very much guard puppy. A fenced in yard will also allow them to run freely.

3. We got lots of wedding planning done. Dates have been narrowed down and we’ve almost settled on a venue. We’re waiting for a call back on the one we’d really like to use at the moment. We still need to figure out the food, decorations, and attire. I’m hoping all of that will just come together eventually. One thing I really wish we had local? An actual event planner we could have hired. Small town problems.

What didn’t go so well this summer?

1. I wasn’t always clear about my expectations of my partner. There were lots of things that needed to be done this summer and it wasn’t understood that I needed him to handle those things since he chose not to work this summer between semesters (house project coordination with companies). We had a bit of an argument/discussion on it. Every time I would mention something needing be done, I was constantly getting an excuse (oh it’s raining, oh there’s too much smoke right now, oh I’m waiting until July and it’s now the end of August). We don’t usually fight, and the fighting with partners I’ve had in the past made me prepared to not have a conclusive end to said fight. It ended up being very different. I could express myself instead of having someone stomp off angry at me. It actually caught me off guard. I find myself sending him reminders to do things and I’m okay with doing that, but after a while it was for all of the little things that needed to happen. I can sometimes barely remember to handle things that I need to do, let alone what I need him to do and I was able to explain that without  turning into a ball of frustration. Like, I don’t mind sending him reminders or asking if he can take care of something at the house (chore or something), it just got to where I was having to be the memory for two people and I’m mentally exhausted as it is on a day to day basis.

2. My mental image of myself has been a struggle. I am the heaviest I’ve been ever in my life. I have crap sleep. It doesn’t seem to matter if I eat too little or too much, walk 30 minutes a day, lift weights, be a gym rat for 2 hours a day, five days a week, or absolutely do nothing at all. I can’t get a grip on my weight. I finally accepted that I can’t do this by myself. I went to my doctor and I finally asked for help. My main concern is that I don’t want to have to constantly be counting calories, I don’t want to have to be at the gym 5 to 7 days a week an hour or more at a time. When you do the research on nutrition and health in general, this seems/feels counter intuitive compared to regular athletes and general healthy people. So, I went to my doctor and I asked for help. Probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done or admitted that I needed to do to myself. And it’s not something I should be ashamed of, but for some reason I feel ashamed that I couldn’t do it on my own. And that’s some mentally messed up thoughts right there. 

Things I’d like to do for the month of September:

1. Sort through my clothes and finish donating things. I have a lot of things I don’t wear and am not sure why I hold on to some of it. I feel like I need a letting go party for quite a few things, so I’ve been sorting. September is a month I’ll use for clothes.

2. I’ve been looking to redesign the graphics on my website to go with a Steampunk theme. I really enjoy that particular genre and I want to reflect that somehow, in some way. Stormdancer, a series I’m reading by Kristoff, is set in a world built on the idea of Japanese steampunk where the samurai have katanas with chainsaws. It sounds really ridiculous, but its actually a well written series. I really am in love with the blend of mythology in it and some of the classic throw in with the hierarchy of Shoguns and traditional Japanese concepts (loyalty, honor, and duty).

3. Starting the Christmas crochet project frenzy. I’ve got plans and I’m promising to NOT wait until December 1 to take care of it all. I may even post some of the planning here, to help me keep track. I do have a few projects to share from the summer months, a blanket and a fairy for sure to add to the finished objects list.

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